Mar 30, 2009

Screw having a wedding. Let's elope.

wedding failSo my boyfriend and I have been dating for a while, and for quite some time we've known that we want to get married. While we aren't officially engaged, questions about when we'll get married, where we'll get married, and what the wedding will be like have been out in the open for...well...a long time. As you can imagine, it's something I've given a bit of thought to. And you know what? The idea of having to go through with the whole big-dress, big-cake wedding makes my stomach twist into knots just thinking about it.

"But! But! It's your special day!" you (and pretty much everyone else) protest. Ah. But there are so many reasons why I don't want my special day to be a big wedding. Here are a few:
  1. My parents live in Texas, about two hours from the nearest airport. His parents live in Oregon, about two hours from the nearest airport. We have aging grandparents sprinkled around the country, and even an aunt and her entire family in Scotland. Just mentioning "wedding" is enough to set off arguments over where it should be and in depth conversations about the logistics of getting all of these people in the same place at the same time. Have you heard the story about the fish and the bird who fell in love, but didn't have a place to live? Here's another one for you: an Oregonian and a Texan can get married, but where will they tie the knot? These are arguments I wish to avoid leading up to my special day.
  2. Have I mentioned before that I'm a miser? I am. A big one. And I'm not dropping $10K on one day. That's certainly special, but not the good kind of special, if you know what I mean.
  3. I don't want to have to deal with 200 strangers on my wedding day. I don't even like talking to people I know most of the time, because it makes me so nervous. Why would I want to have to talk to dozens of people I don't know all in a single day?
  4. I don't want to have to deal with bickering relatives on my wedding day. Family, I love you to pieces, but I know how you all are (I'm talking to Kellen's side, too) and I especially know how you are when you all get together. Where would you all rather be on your wedding day? Peaceful, quiet romantic getaway with your lover? Or hectic, stressful packed venue with 20 stubborn, opinionated, and very vocal relatives? And if I still haven't driven my point home, just think about how hard it is to plan for Christmas when we go to the same place and everyone brings the same dishes every year. You really want to have to go through that (times a bajillion) for a wedding?
  5. I love to travel, and I'd love to combine my special day with doing something that I actually like--seeing something new.
So there you have it. Why I physically shudder at the thought of a traditional wedding and get all giddy just talking about eloping. Now if only I could convince all my family (and his) that they don't want to purchase plane tickets and come with us... *sigh*

13 comments:

  1. That pic is awesome. I wonder how long she did it for lol

    ryan
    eschete.wordpress.com

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  2. Two words my dear: Las and Vegas

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  3. Did I mention that reason #6 is the chats I've had at work with Christina about her wedding? ;)

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  4. And the sad thing is that $10K would actually be a "cheap" wedding. The average cost is sitting at around $30K these days.

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  5. will you still have a party for peeps? sadly, events like weddings are one of the rare occasions "the old gang" may get back together. hence why we were actually contemplating having an unwedding... so basically, MISS YOU!

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  6. Rachel--I know. I did some event planning in college, and the expense of a wedding is just ungodly.

    Kim--we'll probably have two parties, one in Texas and one up here. ;) And I'm planning on coming to Austin maybe this summer? I want to float the river. They say it's possible to do that up here, but I'm not getting in one of their freezing rivers on a "hot" 80-degree day. I don't think so.

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  7. Ah, I love this post. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a while too and I think about these things a lot. I don't have a big family and I don't feel like dealing with many people at my wedding either. Plus, this may sound wrong, but part of it almost sounds like a fad. I want to be unique and have a private, small ceremony, with maybe a larger party later on.

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  8. recession wedding! :-)

    I feel like it'd be even more fun if you earmarked the money you would have spent on a wedding for several other special fun days or trips. add in the interest gained!

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  9. i know how you feel.. i want to elope badly... weddings are too expensive!! you don't want to start your life together in debt.

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  10. Wow... that's amazing! I'm thinking the same time - wedding will be expensive, how many people should I really invite to keep the cost low, etc. etc. Plus, I'm no where near saving up for the wedding. I'm not officially engaged either, but my boyfriend and I sure know we will eventually get married.

    You gave me a good idea! At first, I thought, Why do we need to get married?? We can just forget the whole marriage altogether! Eloping sounds better though...

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  11. Big fan of your blog(s). I was just wondering what the difference for you is between having definite, explicit plans to marry someone and being engaged to that person. I have a friend who claims the same thing, and it makes me wonder about the terminology. Is it the ring that does it? Can't really be the public announcement, since I'm guessing the important people already know you're planning on getting married...

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  12. I think it all has to do with whether or not it's "official." In my case, it will probably be "official" when I get a ring...with other people it's different. Both our families know our plans. Just waiting on the right time (like, after my boyfriend is finished with school) to work out the details.

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  13. Did you send out announcements? I just got married with a very similar situation and am trying to send out announcements? Any suggestions?

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